November 20, 1940: Small Joys

Letter from Ella to Opa

Translation:

Berlin, Charlottenburg, Nov. 20^th 1940

Droysenstrasse 14

My beloved boy, By now I have been without news from you for over 4 weeks, and I worry.

This time one year ago, you were ill, hopefully you are not ill again. I tell myself of course, that the mail does not come regularly, and that my boy writes to me every week, the letters do not arrive, and you know mamas are always worried about their children. Through a friend of Pattilein, I heard that she is well, and also received a few darling pictures of her and her husband. I do believe she is doing well. Did you receive my letter in which I replied to you letter in details about your feelings for Esther? It was the last one I received, I think every day about how it looks inside of you (your inner most feelings). Every day I wait for mail so longingly.  

Hunschen, there is a possibility (chance) to go to the “small Antilles" islands if somebody will guarantee to cover my living expenses. Might that be possibly for me? Do you know somebody who would do that? From here I cannot do anything, would not know who to turn to. Do you think the “Friends” could do something? Or perhaps Hanna’s brother? Hanna sent me a rather cool birthday letter, and did not respond to the matter of an affidavit at all.

Also Rose states only vaguely the she would handle things, when the time comes. Hunschen, please get in contact with Rose, without that affidavit nothing can be done from here. Once on the small Antilles, one can wait there until the number comes up. How great that would be. Sometimes it is hard not to lose courage, but we have to be brave. And every day also brings small joys. Anni and Gis were going to visit me today. Sadly I had to cancel, because I have no time this week, we rescheduled for Sunday after next. The Saturday before I will go to a lecture at the “Friends”, I have not been there for a long, long time, and I am looking forward to it very much. Yesterday I was at Ann’chen’s for dinner. She says to tell you hello, and will write a Christmas letter to you within the next days. I wish for you a happy Thanksgiving day my boy. Maybe there will be a letter today, when I get home. I am writing this on the road, first at the H-V (must be the school) where I was transferred to, and now, since I ran out of ink, at the post office. 

I am always, always with you and Patti, and also with Aust, and I am thinking very much of all other loved ones. My boy, I kiss you dearly.

Your Mama

Did Shelley’s receive my letter?

Ella is looking for any way out, ANY WAY. I want to remind my readers that the Wansee Conference (you know- the one where they come up with the "Final Solution" for Jews?)- it hasn't even happened yet. Right now the Nazis are just be supreme jerks and also highly encouraging all Jews to leave the country, while also taking away all of their rights and means of financial independence. Things are bad, but Ella knows that now is the time to get out- and I think she sees the writing on the wall- that things probably won't get better for a while. She is daring to be hopeful. This practical, humble, pragmatic woman is considering moving to the small Antilles on the sponsorship of a family member or Quakers. For Ella, that is a huge swallow of pride and a giant leap into the unknown. That's how bad it is. And they haven't started shipping people out yet.

Ella hasn't gotten news from many people lately, it seems the mail ebbs and flows. She knows that, but it doesn't help her anxiety and worry. She can't stop being a mother- she still worries about Patti's happiness and safety. She still worries about Opa's colds. She still wonders if he is heartbroken. She still hopes Patti's marriage is happy. All her worries, concerns, and wishes- they don't disappear when her own anxieties overwhelm her. In fact, Ella focuses in on her children so that her love and concern for them will hide and push away her worries for herself. 

Ella stays busy, working however she can. She's been so busy she hasn't been able to stay as connected with the Quakers- and had to cancel a visit with Gis and Anni (I'm so glad they are visiting her!)- but she is making time to go to the lectures that the Quakers held for folks like her. It gives her an opportunity to connect with other folks, to get spiritual/intellectual inspiration, and to not feel isolated for an evening.

Ella continues to hold on to hope, and to her love for her children. That connective thread to her family is stretched so far across the world- America, France, Amsterdam. It's a challenge to hold them all - but she does it for hope. She holds on to the small joys that make her journey bearable.

November 4, 5, 1940: Don't Relax

Telegram from Opa to Marjorie Schauffler

Transcription:

Mrs. Marjorie Schauffler, American Friends Service Committee
 20 South 12 St Phila=

Received letter from Uhl today dated October 31, repeating order to leave. Does your telegram supersede this order. Should I remain here? Please wire advice=
Thomas Doeppner.
Uhl 31.

Letter from Opa to Byron Uhl of INS

Transcription:

Thomas Doeppner  McPherson, November 5, 1940.

McPherson College

McPherson, Kansas

Mr. Byron Uhl

District Director

New York District    ((99503/254))

Dear Sir,

I have your letter of October 31 advising me to leave the United States by November 5. I have also received a telegram from Mrs. Marjorie Schauffler of the American Friends Service Committee of Philadelphia saying that Mr. Salisbury of the State Department in Washington is attempting to arrange for a student visa for me. She also indicated that she had been in touch with your office, apparently after the date of your letter, and that you had agreed to take no action pending the outcome of Mr. Salisbury's effort. I am assuming that this is correct, unless I hear differently from your office.

Yours very truly,

Thomas Doeppner.

Telegram from Marjorie Schauffler of AFSC to Byron Uhl at INS

Transcription:

Byron H. Uhl          (November 5, 1940)

District Director

New York District

U.S. Department of Justice

Regarding Thomas Doeppner McPherson Kansas E.E. Salisbury is handling his case and has instructed him through our office to await Washington decision STOP Salisbury discovered two Washington files on case and one contains request from Doeppner dated July 21 requesting change of status to student visa STOP We have advised Doeppner remain McPherson until instructions received from Salisbury STOP If you advise otherwise please wire us collect

Marjorie  Page Schauffler

American Friends Service Committee

Telegram from Marjorie Schauffler to Opa

Transcription:

Thomas Doeppner          (Noveber 5, 1940)

McPherson College

McPherson, Kansas.

Have wired Uhl that Salisbury is handling matter and has instructed you through us to await his decision without further action STOP Suggest you remain McPherson until Salisbury advises otherwise 

Marjorie Page Schauffler

Letter from Marjorie Schauffler to E.E. Salisbury of INS

Transcription:

November 5, 1940.

Mr. E.E. Salisbury:

We have just received the following telegram from Mr. Doeppner:

"Received letter from Uhl today dated October 31, repeating order to leave. Does your telegram supersede this order. Should I remain here? Please wire advice."

and in reply and in accordance with the telephone conversation I had with you on November 1, in which you advised that Mr. Doeppner take no action until he or we had heard from you, I have sent the following telegrams to him and to District Director Uhl:

"Have wired Uhl that Salisbury is handling matter and has instructed you through us to await his decision without further action STOP Suggest you remain McPherson until Salisbury advises otherwise"

"Regarding Thomas Doeppner McPherson Kansas E.E. Salisbury is handling his case and has instructed him through our office to await Washington decision STOP Salisbury discovered two Washington files on case and one contains request from Doeppner dated July 21 requesting change of status to student visa STOP We have advised Doeppner remain McPherson until instructions received from Salisbury STOP If you advise otherwise please wire us collect"

We are sending you this letter for your record.

Very sincerely,

(Mrs.) Marjorie Page Schauffler

This whole exchange is a perfect example of what it means to be a refugee: your life is completely and totally in the hands of arbitrary decisions. One minute Opa can be consoled that all is well and he can relax, someone is taking care of things. The next minute he gets notice that he really needs to leave the country, despite the fact that he had been told that that person would not ask him to do that again. For Opa, his refugee status has meant that he must always be alert, always on task, never relaxing into the comfort of his home. At any moment, someone may have the authority to demand he leave. At any moment his freedom might be taken on the condition of a missed deadline, a missed communication, an arbitrary decision. I think Opa had sort of settled in and was feeling comfortable, but this letter exchange reminds him he has let his guard down and comfortable is a luxury he has not earned yet.

To be a refugee means that you have no idea where home is. It means that someone else gets to decide- always. This would throw me into a perpetual state of anxiety, high-alert, poised to move. A refugee must be in a position like a kitten that prepares its body to pounce, ready to go where it needs to go for safety- when at any moment, someone can grab you by the scruff of your neck and put you where ever they want you- rendering you paralyzed until you've been placed. Being a refugee means having little to no control over your life. These letters remind Opa that he is not a visitor, he is a refugee- and he cannot relax.

November 2, 1940: Oh Yeah, School

Original Letter from Kathleen Hanstein of AFSC to Opa

Transcription:

Mr. Thomas Doeppner

McPherson College

McPherson, Kansas

Dear Mr Doeppner:

I want to acknowledge your letter in regard to your plans for next year although I have not yet had the chance to look into the possibility at the college you mentioned and shall, therefore, have to write you in greater detail later on I think that it would be wise for you to discuss the whole situation with the dean at McPherson, or with your faculty advisor and the on the basis of their advice to see what the scholarship possibilities might be in any of the colleges in that vicinity which have satisfactory engineering courses. We shall, at the same time, be keeping you in mind for a possible scholarship elsewhere as we do sometimes have scholarships available in colleges with engineering courses and we can, of course, understand that your final years of college work you should be in a college giving the type of professional training that you wish to secure.

Sincerely yours,

Kathleen Hanstein

Associate Counsellor

P.S. I had dictated this letter before your letter arrived describing your visa difficulties. I turned your letter over to Mrs. Schauffer and trust you have heard from her by this time.

K.H.H.

I'm impressed that in the midst of figuring out the whole visa fiasco - Opa has the ability to make plans for furthering his college career. I have this weird image of Opa on a train- slowly making its way to the destination, but flocks of birds are dive-bombing the windows, cows are standing in the tracks, other trains are going in front, people are debating whether to continue to allow the train to go forward- and in all this Opa squints to the future- noticing that he'd like to make sure that if he gets there- it has an engineering degree to offer.

For Opa the education is more than just a vehicle to get to the United States- it is a vehicle to stay there, to get a job there, and to hopefully maybe bring his mother there on his own hard-earned dime. That destination is a strategic choice and he has to keep his eye on it.